Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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