She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
