Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
