I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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