that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
