I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
