just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
