K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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