So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
