My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
