I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Enjoy the penises
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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