I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
