i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
