I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize