bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
