Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
