I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You were trust falling into bushes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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