If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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