I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
