I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
