I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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