he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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