No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
