I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
