i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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