Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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