And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
