did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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