dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
