he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
