party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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