I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
