I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
