I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
