everyone is single if you try hard enough
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
