Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
