he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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