if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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