Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
