Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
