Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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