My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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