Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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