Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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