There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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