In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
