Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
