so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
