He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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