Will you blow on my dice?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I just had sex on a roof
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
